274 of 365 Greedy

I will never say "This is what I want" or "This is what I need." Asking for things feels greedy and self indulgent and I just don't do it. This trait is frustrating as hell when you have to deal with me on a regular basis. Over the past few weeks at least three people have said "Ches if you would just say what you want you might get more of it" or words to that effect. I know this to be true but when asked very directly "What do you want Ches?" words utterly fail me.

The truth is I am greedy. I want everything. I want time -- lots of it. I want unsolicited gifts and I want sweet offlines in the morning. I want photographs and love letters. I want the total focus of attention to be on me at all times, except for when I want to be alone. Of course, everyone is supposed to divine when that is because I sure am not going to say "hey I need a little space here."

Who knows? Tomorrow I may actually say "please pass the orange juice" or "I would love to take a walk in the park" or possibly even "I would really love to spend some uninterrupted time with you." Maybe.

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