43 of 365 A Christmas tale of annoying relatives

This blurry phone picture of my Christmas tree, which I took just now on Boxing Day, pretty much tells you what you need to know about my holiday. It was blurry, shaky, and slightly out of focus.

You know how there is always one relative who can suck the air out of the room and who makes you head to the wine bottle over and over? If you are lucky this person is actually only related to you by marriage so you can get all superior when you whisper to your spouse about her general disagreeableness and lack of personal hygiene, and say "at least we don't share any DNA." The dance everyone does at the dinner table to make sure there is no open chair next to them can be amusing. This relative is the person NO one wants to sit next to at Christmas dinner.

Well my sort of relative who is not actually related to me by blood, thank god, was in rare form last night. She was sullen and disagreed with every single thing, every single person said. It was all I could do not to say "look....umm.......searches for a pretend name and giving up.....seethes "Ann" why don't you take your crappy attitude, get back on Metro North and return from whence you came so the rest of us can enjoy the evening." Since I was not in my home and she is not my mother I just smiled and filled my glass -- again, and again and again.

Which is why I did not post yesterday and why I missed talking to one person I really wanted to wish a Merry Christmas and why I was fast asleep by 10pm.

Today we are expecting a snow storm which make take my Boxing Day Party from a huge gathering to a small bunch of brave people who are not put off by a little snow. Oh, and since you are probably wondering, Ann is not invited but I am sure her presence will be felt. We are all going to have to recount, in excruciating detail, how completely annoying she was on Christmas. In fact, the story will probably be retold multiple time between now and next Christmas when I am sure a new chapter in the story of my annoying relatives will be written.

2 comments:

Kokoro said...

*wraps arms around you and huggles tightly* This is why you always keep some exlax around. Just a few drops in their drink, and they will find they have to go and GO away.. :P

Dan said...

You got a good laugh out of me with .. "at least we don't share any DNA."

I have had these exact thoughts around certain relatives myself.