I found this sim by looking on Koinup's list of Second Life "Coolest Places." Frankly, since the "coolest places" are listed by anyone some of the spots are people's homes or shops which may be nice and all but it is debatable if your average person would define them as the coolest of the cool. Still I do enjoy using Koinup's list to find places I otherwise might miss like the sim Little Rock where I took these photos. The spot is called le jardin de Ephemeres by Natsha Lemton for NitroglycerinE. It is pretty and a nice way to spend some time exploring. Don't forget to look under the water for surprises.
Boring image today. Busy busy with deadlines. Sorry about that.
Please do read what Vax Sirnah wrote on NWN today. It is a brilliant, thoughtful, honest and lovely post about gender dysmorphia and how Second Life can help. I was touched by her honesty and bravery. Please read it, I think Vax deserves a big audience. Thanks.
I got caught in the rain today on 120th Street, near Broadway. I had an umbrella but I still managed to get soaked. I love the city in the rain for some reason. I don't really know why.
I am tired and don't really have much to say. I did get a T shirt from Pixeleen today, which was nice.
PS: True confession - this is an older image that I recycled, edited, textured and generally messed around with for today's 365. I just didn't have much time to do more.
I think I am going to have to resort to the lame blogger's trick of a list because my capacity for well reasoned text is limited this morning. It is Saturday and I am facing the better part of the day at my RL office but at least I will be writing so there is a silver lining. If I have to work on the weekend writing is my favorite thing to do.
So, on to the list.
1) Night wrote about balancing RL and SL on NWN. She presents great thoughts as always. I really enjoy her work and she is a charming, bright light in my SL. Read her. My thoughts about balance are simple. I have one life and it is a zero sum game. I only have 24 hours in a day and time I spend doing one thing means I am not spending that time doing something else. Life is short and we never know when it is going to end, as we all found out just the other day.
2) Adric Antfarm died this week. There were lots of very sad people everywhere. Some eulogized him and took the opportunity to slam my other people at the same time. (not going to link to that one but you can find it. Also,WTF??) Others were accused of trying to profit by memorializing Adric. (Again, WTF??) Suffice it to say emotions ran HIGH. Crap summarized my feelings about Adric by citing the song by the Dixie Chicks, which fits perfectly I think.
3) Carrie and I held our Spoken Word party this week. I was terrified and thought I would be sick on the spot. Yet, I got up there and read. Granted, the crowd was mostly my friends so that helped but I did not hurl and I think I did ok. I might even do it again. Maybe. Also, please do hop over and read Carrie's blog. She is a rising star and I just love her work.
4) I love my SL partner. She is my best friend in both worlds and even when she drives me to the brink of frustration I cannot imagine a day without her and don't want to do so.
People who make grand pronouncements about the morality of Sl partnerships for married people might want to consider that they have no idea what goes on between individuals. There are many kinds of partnerships. Some people have virtual weddings and pixel babies, while others partner alts. Some have business partners in the LL supplied box on our profiles. Many partnerships are romantic and sexual and just as many are deep friendships that are platonic. You really just can't tell can you?
My sincere request is if you feel the need to make generalized statements about how married people should not partner, please consider that you might not actually be able to fully understand the circumstances of other people's lives. Really, would you be so bold as to tell your neighbors how to define or label their friendships? Its actually pretty amusing to me that because we are in a virtual space people feel free to pass moral judgement on me when they really have no fucking clue what goes on. So, next time you decide to make a pronouncement about who should partner and under what circumstances please start your sentence off with the qualifier "For me,.."
And, now I have to go to the office. Have a beautiful day my lovelies.
When people die why is it the nasty things they did while they were alive disappear? Have you ever been to a funeral where people where honest?
"He was a bully"
"He was unnecessarily nasty for no good reason."
Yeah me either. Everyone who has ever died was a great person, funny enough.
I was talking to a friend today and she said "we do not speak ill of the dead" because deaths remind us of our own certain future. We want to be remembered well ourselves and it somehow feels wrong to talk about a dead person in anything but glowing terms.
~~~
I am sorry for your loss. I am. I have forgiven him for the things he wrote about me. Still, I cannot forget that, in his own words, he "took a bazooka to a butterfly."
Please come listen to bloggers read their work tomorrow evening at 6pm at the Blue Angel Poet's Dive Bar. I am going to read in public for the first time! I am terrified.
If you want to read you are more than welcome to do so. If you want to come and listen please do! It should be fun and I hope to see you there.
The clouds break open, you feel a warm glow entering your body Somehow, the stonehenge shifts time....look around you.... The present is now the past, the past is now the future
My ritual is not prescribed by ancient texts. My creed has been passed down to me in the form of motherly advice and fatherly silences.
My calendar is not marked by holy days or rites consisting of the songs and images and poetry of the ages.
I do not belong to a house of worship led by men in positions of authority who seek to dictate what I should think.
Hell is here on earth and sin is a myth created and perpetuated by zealots to keep us all from stepping out of line.
My religion is the practice of cherishing the light that shines from the core of each of us.
My dogma is the certainty that it is more rewarding to work to create your own moral foundation than it is to live according to an ancient rulebook.
~~~~~~ There is a back story to this little bit of angry writing and readers may benefit from context. A day or so ago someone said that I am immoral. This poem (if I may call it that) is my reaction and my response.
There is something about Key West that makes it the laggiest live music venue in SL for me. I have no idea why but every.single.time. I go there the lag is horrendous. Tonight Soleil played followed by Skye Gallexy so it was a double dose of concrete. The music was fabulous or I would not have put up with the grey unrezzed people and impossible lag.
I have a fever so I am going to bed. Before I do I had a thought. I always believed you should never call yourself an artist until someone else bestowed that title on you. I can't explain why I had that idea but it probably had something to do with how pretentious it seems to me to say "I am an artiste!" (Read that with a poseur, ill defined fake european accent to hear how it sounds in my head.) Real artists don't go around declaring "I am an artiste!" they just sort of ARE artists.
Well. Yesterday two different people said to me "Ches you are an artist." I still don't think its true though.
I think I am totally out of it from this cold and making no sense. Good night.
I made this image today while my friend ColeMarie Soleil was singing at Bryn Oh's installation no love. Check out Bryn's art and you will get over not seeing yet another picture of my face. Instead you get to enjoy beautiful ColeMarie who is one of the most interesting faeries I know.
Performed by Taylor Swift, who is said to have written this song of forgiveness for Kanye West. She sang it last night on the VMA awards show, one year after the famous incident when Kanye interrupted her acceptance speech.
I guess you really did it this time Left yourself in your warpath Lost your balance on a tightrope Lost your mind tryin' to get it back
Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days? Always a bigger bed to crawl into Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything? And everybody believed in you?
It's all right, just wait and see Your string of lights is still bright to me Oh, who you are is not where you've been You're still an innocent You're still an innocent
There's some things you can't speak of But tonight you'll live it all again You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now If only you would see what you know now then
Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days? And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep? Before the monsters caught up to you?
It's all right, just wait and see Your string of lights is still bright to me Oh, who you are is not where you've been You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd 32, and still growin' up now Who you are is not what you did You're still an innocent
Time turns flames to embers You'll have new Septembers Every one of us has messed up too
Lives change like the weather I hope you remember Today is never to late to Be brand new
It's all right, just wait and see Your string of lights are still bright to me Oh, who you are is not where you've been You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd 32, and still growin' up now Who you are is not what you did You're still an innocent You're still an innocent
Lost your balance on a tightrope Its never too late to get back
Vegetal Planet is the kind of glowy 3d art space that I love. There are places to dance and hang out with your friends. Of course you can purchase some of the art to help support the creator vroum Short. There are freebies scattered around and like the most interesting builds in SL finding some of the best spots will take effort on your part. Not everything is as it seems. Enjoy.
soror Nishi's build 'Tree of Trees' is beautiful. It is intoxicating. I love it and I strongly encourage you to go. Fly around inside the landscape and let it wrap around you in a wash of color and light, movement and stillness. I love what soror has done and could easily spend the rest of my days in the world she has created. It takes my mind to a place where there are no disappointments, doctors or deadlines. go.
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I am going to repost the words I wrote on 9/11/08 because I can't say it better today than I did two years ago.
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I was in my office on Haven Avenue, which runs parallel to the Hudson River just south of the George Washington Bridge. I remember the sky that day. It was one of those painfully beautiful September skies that is the color of a peacock in full display. It was a warm day but the humidity that so often accompanies summer in New York was gone, hinting that cooler days were on the horizon.
I arrived at the office early as was my habit and my husband called as was his. "How was the drive? What does your day look like?" In the middle of this mundane call that is a staple of long term marriages he suddenly said "Some fool just flew a plane into the Tower." I remember us shaking our heads and thinking it was a small plane with a student pilot, perhaps foreshadowing events that would come to pass years later. But no. What we were seeing was something entirely different. We hung up the phone not at all anticipating that we were observing history unfolding.
Once it became clear what was going on there was no real panic inside me. I had too much work to do. I had field workers all over the city that had to be accounted for, 50 people to feed and find beds for as it was pretty clear getting home would be hard for most of us. We had little information from the outside world as we lost TV, the Internet and cell phone service when the relays on the towers were destroyed. One of my clearest memories was all of us sitting around the huge conference room table listening to an old school transistor radio, which was our only source of information. When the first tower fell I held my face in my hands but I did not cry. What was happening was too big to understand.
I got a call from my son's preschool asking me to pick him up as they were closing. I was in the city and had to cross a bridge to get to him. All bridges were considered targets and were closed. There was no way for me to get to my 3 year old. That moment was when I panicked. It was the kind of all encompassing panic that starts as a cold tingling in your limbs and ends as a lasting ache in the pit of your stomach.
My husband does site work and is dependent on a cell phone for contact. I could not get in touch with him at all. My father was in the middle of chemotherapy to fight lung cancer. He got himself out of bed and went to pick up my wild little boy. Knowing walking was difficult for him and caring for a very "active" toddler felt to me like the height of irresponsible parenting. I will never forget how helpless I felt when I asked my dad to go get my baby. But what could I do? I had no one else.
Eventually that evening the bridges were reopened and I could head home. When I got to the turn for the bridge there was a big crowd of people standing there stranded, some covered in the dust from the towers. A man knocked on the window of my green mini van, clearly wanting a ride. I looked at him, mouthed "I am sorry" and drove across the bridge, alone, silently sobbing.
You see I was afraid to let some unknown man into my car. He could have been a person trying to get home to his family exactly like me or he could have been the person sent to blow up the bridge. I didn't know. I was afraid and in that moment I made a choice. It is a choice I play over and over in my mind often. I have tremendous guilt about it because I did not help. I let my overwhelming fear govern my actions. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for the choice I made that day.
For me 9/11 will always be about family, history and place. I was there. I breathed in the ashes of the dead, smelled the burning for weeks. I attended funerals and held widows as they cried. I stood in the street with the neighbors and we wondered aloud, "What the hell happened to us." Seven years later and I am still not sure.
Nine years ago, around this time of the morning, I was in a cab, with the then under 2 year old. Two ash coated young men emerged out of the chaos on 11th street, seeking a way north. They joined us, telling of having been grabbed by a fire boat and dumped on a dock in the 20s, while the fire boat headed back towards the tip of Manhattan to grab more people.
The days and weeks that followed were full of fear, but also a coming together and a sense of determination that we deal with this on our own terms. America should respond in a uniquely American way.
Today there is steel rising from Ground Zero. The city has grown, changed and continued to be above all, New York. The sky in Manhattan is the same shade of stunning blue I remember setting out from home at 8:00 that morning. The blue of fall. The blue of cool air after a hot summer. Somewhere in the past nine years, I fear we have lost something of that sense of determination. This months noisy screaming match about burning Korans, about the lower Manhattan Islamic Center seems much less noble and much more petty. I find it odd that nine years after, people feel more threatened, not less.
I am pausing for a long moment to reflect on the past nine years, and hope others will do the same. The cool crisp blue of the sky reminds me of both the moment nine years ago, but also the change of seasons. I find myself hoping for a bit of change in our mental season, away from fear, back towards a quiet confidence when confronting the other.
Hamlet and Iris are going to Blue Mars. Hamlet has assured me he very much wants Chestnut's Choices to continue on NWN and he has suggested there may be opportunities for me to expand my writing on the blog. I am not at all sure what any of these changes mean but I am taking a wait and see attitude.
There is other really cool news about NWN that I can't share just yet. I am bursting to talk about it but I have been sworn to secrecy. I know it is going to be great and really look forward to some interesting posts in the coming weeks.
I am really tired tonight so its off to bed for me.
I made this image early, early this morning and my head was full of words to describe the feelings I tried to capture. Then, before I knew it I had to get my kids off to the first day of school; a full day of RL work intervened: I came home and listened to my daughter's blow by blow description of the first day of high school (totally adorable); I had a NWN deadline to meet; accepted three unexpected Skype calls; and finally it was Zha's first real day back in world in about 3 weeks.
What the hell happened to the blog post I wanted to write???
Where is it?
Come back here....muse................................................
Today is going to kick my ass. I have a ton to do and I am feeling extremely lazy. I really can't explain the to do list I wrote on my hand, but since I am sick to death of my avatar face and have completely hit the "I don't care" wall on my 365, this is it for today. Yay for blurry phone pictures!
Two important "to dos" I could not fit on my hand:
Carrie Lexington and I are organizing a Spoken Word event for bloggers on 9/23 at 6pm at the Blue Angel on Kolor. The idea is bloggers will read favorite posts from their blogs. I have committed to read and I am terrified. What posts should I read? Will you come? If you want to read yourself please let us know!
I am going to be on Cybergrrl Oh's RezzedTV show, at 11am SLT on Thursday, September 9th. I am going to talk about Chestnut's Choices and whatever pops into my head. What do you want to know? Let me know and I will answer your questions on the show. Unless they are too personal and in that case let's just take it to Skype, mkay?
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I seem to have lost my writing muse.
I am a little heartbroken that I lack the ability to write anything worthwhile these days. I have a ton of things I want to say but every time I sit down the words that hit the screen are all kinds of suckage.
I think I am hesitant to hit publish because Adric said my writing is like a middle school girl's diary and Prok said I am sullen. Its not these two individuals who are keeping me from writing, just to be clear. Its the voice in my head that just knows they are right. The things I want to express right now *are* coming from sadness and disappointment but I just can't seem to get beyond my internal critic and the anticipation of what my external critics will write. More suckage.
You know the feeling you get when a friendship is basically over? Its a cross between relief and regret, freedom and sadness. That is what I need to express and I want to do it in a way that is beautiful and respectful. Yeah, this one deserves a real poem. I hope I have the chops. Somehow I doubt it.
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Zha comes home tonight after three weeks in England. I had intended to rip apart our house and rebuild it while she was gone as a surprise. That didn't happen. I have not done any serious building since the day I rebuilt our entire island in 5 hours. I want to build but its a little like writing. My creative closet is empty.
I envy those confident people who are so very sure their opinions are full and complete and right that they will engage in public arguments with people they don't know, about topics where the sum total of their knowledge has been gleaned from reading forums and blogs.
Me? All I can see are shades of grey, wrinkles in time and the gulf that exists between what I think I know and the idea that there is one single thing called truth.
I wonder about the motivations of those who espouse rumor as if it were gospel truth wrapped up in shiny paper and tied with a silk bow. Do they just want to hear themselves talk? Are they so arrogant as to believe that people with strongly held alternative opinions are going be so swayed by their intellectual prowess that in a flash of light they will see the error of their ways, kneel down and beg forgiveness for doubting?
In a public game of "I am smarter than you" I fold my hand and retreat to private corners to talk with people who have no need to win a fools contest.
This is the ATM in Leda where you can transfer Lindens to InWorldz. When I was there I watched a steady stream of people transferring money between worlds. I transferred some Linden over and paid a visit.
I was met by an adorable furry creature who offered help and a kind word, and several friend requests from people I know in SL. There is an ok freebie room right at the landing point and I managed to pick up not too embarrassing clothes, skin, hair and a fairly un-horrible AO. I will be honest and say good freebies are important for people like me. If I am a dorky, duck walking ugly noob I am uncomfortable. Turn me into a dorky freebie wearing noob and I am comfortable enough to begin to explore. Remember, I have money in my hot little hand which I transferred out of Second Life and I am prepared to spend it InWorldz!
Think about that for a moment, won't you? I moved money I earned in SL to another virtual world where I intend to spend it on things like hair and clothes. Hmmm....interoperability anyone? I saw signs for several familiar SL content creators, so think about that too for a moment, won't you? Our little world, she is growing up!
I ran out of time so I don't have a ton of pics or insight to offer. I will say this -- as I walked around I got a feeling similar to one I had when I logged in to SL in 2007. Hey this might be cool!
Funny enough, as I was standing in the freebie place trying to de ruth, a random stranger asked if I knew where the cool events are in InWorldz. Apparently they recognized my name from New World Notes and figured I would know. All I can say is give me a little time. If there are cool events I will do my best to find them and tell everyone about them too.
This picture was taken at The Next Day which is a RP sim that is similar to Insilico. I think it actually pales in comparison to Insilico, but if the glowy dark post apocolypic side of SLife is your idea of a good time The Next Day is worth checking out.
Skylar wrote about cultivating "true authentic indifference" yesterday and I can't get that phrase out of my head. I need to figure out how to get to that place about certain things too.
I heard a rumor today. Something about Emerald and the end of the world as we know it? All I know is the beauty of open source software development is good code never dies. I fully expect the features of Emerald that so many of us have grown to love will continue to show up in Third Party Viewers and SLlife as we know it will continue.
Coders will go on to code another day and we will all move on to the next crisis du jour. I am going to go out on a limb and say the next crisis of epic proportions will be the new display names LL is implementing. I could be wrong but time will tell. It is a very safe bet there *will* be another crisis and there *will* be drama.
For me? I went to Eshi's shop and bought a pretty dress. It is call Harajuku and I just love it.
