As a matter of fact, you are not the center of the universe

Years ago I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and it might not be an exaggeration to say the book changed my life.  I have the Four Agreements on the wall of my office and refer to them often.  I just learned that last year Ruiz wrote a new book called The Fifth Agreement, which I have to get my hands on and read.

I won't lie - I have a long way to go before I can claim to be true to the Agreements.  In fact, I sometimes forget about them and when I find myself upset about this or that I refer back to them and it helps me to stay focused.  I especially need to remind myself not to take anything personally.  Because really, who doesn't need to be reminded that the world does not revolve around them?

I just had a clear childhood memory I want to share.  In my mom's kitchen she had this huge bulletin board covered with kid art and shopping lists and bit of paper that she needed to keep track of for one reason or another.  In the top right corner of the bulletin board was a cartoon from the New Yorker Magazine that showed a little girl looking up at her mom who was saying "As a matter of fact you are not the center of the universe."  My dear sweet mom cut that out of the magazine when I was about 5 and it stayed on the kitchen bulletin board for most of my life.

I beg to differ though, I am the center of *my* universe.  I am just not the center of anyone else's universe.  Anyway, here is a reminder to myself - The Five Agreements.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word – Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally – Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment.  It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to when you are sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
5. Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen – Don’t believe yourself or anybody else.  Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear:  Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind the words, and you will understand the real message.