Saturday morning wistful

It has been a while since I have posted here and its been even longer since I posted anything personally meaningful.   There are no reasons and I am not going to offer that annoying blogger apology "Oh I am soooo sorry for not posting you guys but my RL has been so busy but I promise to do better soon."  Damn its not like people are refreshing the page over and over waiting on pins and needles to see what is up in the life of Chestnut Rau.

The truth is I am happy in my life and when I log in to SL it is usually to listen to Zach or Grace sing.  I have a few art projects I work on and I spend some time with my partners in those ventures. I did help out a little on Burn2 as a member of the Art Committee but honestly? I am not a burner.  There are too damn many rules that make no sense to me.  I met some great people at Burn2 but I don't think I will ever fit into that organization. I am such an introvert that becoming part of large chaotic organizations really is not in the cards for me. I sort of wish I was the kind of person who could be down with a crowd but its just not me, is it.

Instead I log in, talk to a handful of people I adore.  I look at my meeroos and contemplate releasing them all and wonder why I buy food for big eared rats that chirp.  I open the destination guide and tp to an art sim and wander around, mostly trying to find new artists for Art Screamer and Orignalia.

I wonder why I spend money on tier for an art sim when the LEA has taken over the role of curating the best artists in SL. It really is foolish to spend $100 a month on this hobby isnt it?  My partners and I have talked about putting together an application to LEA for some land and giving up our sim.  Bryn Oh was encouraging when I reached out to her to talk about an application from Art Screamers. It seems like a lot of work to write the application and so far, none of us has done much. The deadline looms large.

I could write a book about the technical issues we have had on Art Screamers which has been quite dispiriting for us.  For some reason the UI sounds keep looping on the sim. LL has tried to help but found no solution.  We did everything they asked which amounted to removing mega prims and restarting the sim.  No. That didn't help, not that we thought it would but we were good soldiers anyway.  Its so fucking frustrating to pay $295 a month between us for a sim that is broken while LL gives the LEA 20 sims to play with for art.  Remind me again why being an art supporter in SL is a good idea?  Yeah.  I got nothin either.

So, I change my SL outfit once a week and try to find the fun in fashion.  Yeah, no. I try on a green skin for Halloween and have a fondness for my steampunk monocle which amuses me for a fleeting moment.   I wonder if my time in SL is drawing to a close.  Then I wait for an emotional response to that thought and really? There isn't one.

Most of my SL friendships have migrated to other platforms.  The other day one of my very best friends from SL said to me "Edie I want you in my life, not in my game."  That is what matters, isn't it?