Self indulgent self expression, nothing more.

Its funny.  Yesterday I was included in a list of 10 influential bloggers in Second Life.   Crap suggested a whole bunch of people who should have been on that list and I have to agree with him.  There are so many people who are smarter and more insightful than I and while I am very flattered, I just don't think I am influential.  I don't even want to be influential.

I don't have anything to sell or any well planned agenda whatsoever.  I don't want to spur other people to do things.  I don't want to change your opinion.  I do not seek to influence the debate about LL, virtual worlds, the state of the economy, politics, nature vs nurture, punk or pop, whether or not Elvis is really dead, who should be voted off the island or even what book you should read next.   Honestly.

Here is how my writing works.  I might be taking a shower or listening to music or talking to a friend and words start banging around inside my head.   So, I sit at my computer and my fingers run over the keys and within a few minutes...boom...there it is.  A post.  I run spell check and hit publish.  That is it.  I write so the ideas inside my head will quiet down.

When people suggest I have influence over things and when I find people discussing what I have said here on my blog elsewhere in all honesty I am surprised.  This blog is indulgent self expression, nothing more.  If you read what I write I am grateful for your time and attention. Thank you. If you don't agree with me then by all means let's talk.  I would love to explain myself and hear what you have to say.  But, I promise, unless you are one of a handful of people who I consider my "inner circle" I will never try to influence you and what I write here is not about you either.


Mr. Crap Mariner said...

Wait... so you're saying you thought about me in the shower?

Oh..... yeah!


Botgirl Questi said...

For better or for worse, being influential or not isn't up to the writer. It's up to the reader. So if people say you're influential . . .

Chestnut Rau said...

BG I was trying to wrap my head around that very idea last night. I write and release my words to the wilds of the internet. I have no control over what people think or do.

Still, it frustrates me to no end when people think they understand *me* and my motivations because they have read 750 or 1,000 speculative words I tossed off in less than a half hour. Particularly so when they repeatedly discuss me personally and my writing on a weekly podcast.

Then again, people are going to say and do what they want. If I have the courage to put my ideas out there I have to work on controlling my emotional reaction to misrepresentation of my motivations.

HEY! Now I know how Linden Lab staff and members of the community who are dissatisfied feel. This little thought experiment has proven one thing to be true -- when people are misunderstood and don't feel their thoughts are accurately described by others they can turn into total wackadoodles.

Thank you. Good night.

Lizzie Gudkov said...

Chestnut, sometimes being influential is simply being able to put in words what others think about and feel they have trouble expressing. In your case, as I understand from what you have written,unintentionally you become a voice that speaks up. And that is good, in my opinion. :) I enjoy reading what you write.

Chestnut Rau said...

Many, many thanks Lizzie. I appreciate your comment very much.

Yordie Sands said...

First, congratulations to all of you who have been recognized as "Influential". I think this is a good. I agree the list should be bigger, Strawberry for example.

Once you decide you are no longer just writing for yourself, you are writing for other people. And it's like that old saw if you aren't enjoying it "it's like going to sea to make yourself seasick."

I agree with Botgirl completely, the readers determine who is influential. And all of you are doing a good job.

Hey Hey, beats being on the worst blogs list. (Ah! There's an idea for some awards.)

I don't have everyone that got named on my blogroll, but adding them today. Hugs & love